Posted by: sulya | 4 May 2010

There is a Blizzard, There is a Man

The snow is whipping itself sideways and then halting altogether and moving the other way in a slow pause and exhale, the wheel ruts on the road as cars that have probably already swapped out their snow tires slog past, are inches deep and growing.  It’s May.  And I find the snow hateful but pretty and I find the wind that howls haunting and beautiful and it’s May.  And it’s supposed to do this for another day at least.  And so be it.  Shrouded in white that I know will melt sooner rather than later is not a bad thing.

I am making soup.  A hearty sort of vegetable and lentil and wild rice soup I haven’t made in ages.  I felt the need to chop and slice and dice and stir and mince and make because snow when you know it will melt into real spring soon is snow I can live with – it is a mid-Spring excuse to forgo another huge bowl of California strawberries and make soup.

It is amazing how many things in this life one can tolerate or even outright enjoy when one knows they will not last forever, when they are not one’s personal and consummate and unforgiving forever.

It is equally amazing how many possibilities bloom when you trip into something you want to be a forever.  It may or may not be a forever thing.  I cannot have lived my life without knowing that forever things rarely are things forever…  But even wanting one to be…  Feeling doors open…  Feeling like cheezy expressions such as “possibilities bloom” and “doors open” are the only way to express the feeling… That is welcome and long overdue and due to one man brand new in my life.

So I accept the blizzard and I make the soup and I feel the warmth of him in all the ways that matter, no matter the weather and it will last as long as it lasts because so does Winter and so do Winter’s bursts in Spring…  They last as long as they last and you either slow pause and exhale or dig yourself into the rut on the road.  You either make soup or you don’t.

And Spring will really be here soon and he will probably be here tomorrow even though he only just left.

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Responses

  1. Snow? I am shocked.
    You have such an amazing disposition, Sulya, not complaining about it and enjoying it instead. Love that about you.

  2. You elevate my ability to rise above to unreasonable levels MizzKitty LOL — But I’ll take your love regardless because I am greedy!!!

    The absolute killer part of that day was that at the library the kid picked up a Christmas movie… Seriously… in MAY…. lol…

    It was good soup though and the weather appears very nice now. Perhaps it is time to get my snow tires swapped out for all-seasons? We shall see…


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