Posted by: sulya | 13 December 2009

Well, Ernie, Tonight I Actually Do

My son has come home after his time with his father and there are hugs and a revisiting of toys.  There are kisses and cuddles and we built a new train track together.  He built his part, I built mine.  His is a long stretch of track that crosses the entire length of the living room until it hits a wall.  Mine is bendy and twisty with roundtables and split tracks and all manner of ways to navigate over bridges, under bridges… Round in circles…

And then back to the shed.

And my head is a tangle of unanswerable questions right now, of unfinished projects and work, of unfolded laundry and a cluttered kitchen and the boyo spiked a fever within three hours of coming home to me so no preschool for him tomorrow, no music class.  Lots of worry and no gym for me.

And I’m sorry, my friends and guests, for being so whiney and dramatic this week.  As many of you know, it tends to happen round here sometimes and December has never been my time to shine…  More like a repeated time of reckoning…  And I am grateful to be fortunate enough to get to repeat it but the reckoning is never easy and I am a smidge worn out right now.

Anyway, the youtube below is one of my favourite songs ever because Ernie likes where he is.  He likes to dream big and then go home because home is where he wants to be and 99.99999% of the time that’s how I feel too.  I like to dream big.  I like to come home.

But right now I’m bridling and fidgety.  Quick to rage.  Quick to cry and I think – as I believe I said a few posts again – a stint on the moon might be good for me.

Hugs & Kisses & Promises of a Better Mood & Better Writing

The Octopus In Residence.

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