Posted by: sulya | 13 September 2009

It Is Done

itisdone

I know I think too much.  I think too much about what other people might be thinking.  I lose track of who, exactly, I’m making decisions for and why.  I fail to make decisions because the will of others so thoroughly contravenes my own instincts that I become paralyzed.

But this.  I finally just did.

I did it for him and his one ragged ear and his lonely lousy attention-seeking behaviour that was only going to get worse when I go back to work this week.

I did it for me because it just made sense and is something I have always wanted.  Never made sense to just have one.  Felt wrong.  Felt cruel.  Felt, in my old life especially, too much like one more mammal lacking companionship.

And she’s lovely.  She kisses my nose and plays with my hair and within 24hrs they were playing and grooming each other, within 48hrs he’d forgiven me completely for changing his world.  Even he knew it was for the better.

I actually caught myself on the phone with a friend, curled up in bed with my two cats on either side of me and saying, “My cup runneth over.”  And meaning it entirely without cynicism.

I cut through everyone else’s thoughts to think for myself and stopped waiting.

So this.  This in a sea of so much else.

This is done.

Maybe now I can tackle the rest of it.

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Responses

  1. My God that is the cutest cat buddy photo, ever!

    Congrats on the new family member.

  2. Thanks Kitty – She is a sweet little girl. She licks noses and chins with her stinky kitten kibble breath. The kid, the boy cat and the Mommy are all totally in love with her.

  3. What color is her hair?

  4. Oh, she’s a black cat too. She’s got medium/short fur and a super long tail. She’s got a few white hairs in he chest but basically she’s all black. I decided to give up all pretense and just show clearly that I am, indeed, a witch (smile)

  5. :::Cackling with ya:::

    Is she the same cat you were looking at months ago and wanted so badly?

  6. Nope, different one. That one might still be there, though, full grown now and pretty but kind of edgy and not so much fun. This little girl was so chill and affectionate and then playful as all get-out… I dunno’… Was a long (4hr) adoption process but it was totally worth it.


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